Author Archives: Michael Froomkin

UMiami Prepares for COVID Cuts

This morning’s Herald reports,

On Wednesday, the University of Miami in an email announced “financial mitigation actions,” effective immediately, to reduce expenses across the university, including its healthcare system, UHealth.

“Today’s highly uncertain economic environment poses serious financial implications for our University, as well as for our health care system, UHealth,” the email read. “These are unprecedented times, which require significant measures.”

Those measures include a hiring freeze, a postponement of merit-based pay raises, significantly reduced or eliminated non-essential, non-salary expenses, delaying planned construction projects until 2022, tapping into unrestricted donor funds and expanding its freshman class from about 2,200 to 2,350.

The email, written by Jeffrey L. Duerk, executive vice president for academic affairs and provost, and Jacqueline Travisano, executive vice president for business and finance and chief operating officer, signaled more cuts could come.

That this University, much like all others, faces financial problems is a given: From a financial flows point of view we’re a large hospital with a smallish university attached. And hospitals are being hammered two ways: large, unexpected, COVID-19-related costs, and a collapse of other sorts of revenue as patients put off elective and even necessary surgery. So it seems likely we are in for it.

That said, is it realistic for the College to plan on a larger entering Freshman class? I worry that (sensible) people will still be avoiding crowds — and maybe everyone — in early Fall, and indeed until we have a reliable vaccine. And the most optimistic estimates I’ve seen for a reliable vaccine put FDA approval in early 2021; even then, production will doubtless take time also.

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Florida Law Deans Band Together for Graduating 3Ls

It’s official: Florida’s Law School Deans Ask State Supreme Court to Offer September Bar Exam.  Per the DBR,

University of Miami School of Law Dean Anthony Varona led the effort to draft and disseminate the letter, and acknowledged the striking nature of the requests.

“Our letter was the result of an extraordinary team effort, that resulted in a letter proposing extraordinary measures—all reflecting the extraordinary challenges faced by our graduating students, the legal profession as a whole, and the society that depends on us for legal services,” Varona said.

Full text of the Florida Deans’ Letter re COVID-19. It is a very good letter, carefully crafted for its audience, one which if rumor is to be believed has absolutely no chance in hell of adopting a Wisconsin-like plan of just waiving in graduates of Florida law schools without an exam. So the question then becomes, what is the next-best plan. The Deans suggest a very complex plan to administer the bar exam — all over the state — in socially distanced law school classrooms, or alternately to extend the existing Certified Legal Intern (CLI) program to permit graduates who clear their character and fitness investigation to practice law under supervision until they have the opportunity to pass the bar exam. Currently that program is limited to actual law students; the proposal is a one-time change to extend it a couple of years beyond graduation.

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Just Because It’s Monday?

Oh yes, this:

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A Very Tiny Silver Lining

Perhaps due to the stay-at-home order in India, which I imagine has caused the suspension of many boiler room operations and tech support scams, we’re hardly getting any spam phone calls these days. The only one I’ve picked up on in the last four days was a recorded voice, trying to sound folksy, soliciting for some police charity or union. If this keeps up, poor Lenny may be out of work.

(I should maybe clarify that I don’t actually use Lenny as I don’t have VOIP. I just wish I had Lenny.) As to the robot-‘charity’, I don’t give to them because: first, I don’t know if it’s a real group; second, they call three or more times a week and I resent it; and, third, even if they are real, the politics of police unions are often dodgy but I’ll save that digression for another day.

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More Banal Than Fiction

Ted Chiang

Ted Chiang

Science fiction writer Ted Chiang explains the difference between our current reality and a well-plotted disaster novel,

While there has been plenty of fiction written about pandemics, I think the biggest difference between those scenarios and our reality is how poorly our government has handled it. If your goal is to dramatize the threat posed by an unknown virus, there’s no advantage in depicting the officials responding as incompetent, because that minimizes the threat; it leads the reader to conclude that the virus wouldn’t be dangerous if competent people were on the job. A pandemic story like that would be similar to what’s known as an “idiot plot,” a plot that would be resolved very quickly if your protagonist weren’t an idiot. What we’re living through is only partly a disaster novel; it’s also—and perhaps mostly—a grotesque political satire.

Electric Lit, Ted Chiang Explains the Disaster Novel We All Suddenly Live In.

Photo © 2011 Arturo Villarrubia. Licensed under cc-by-sa-2.0.

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For Your Zoom Seder

Making the rounds (wish I knew the original author, I’d credit…Update According to the comment below, this is by Rabbi Richard Hirsh, of Bryn Mawr, PA):

The Torah Speaks of Four Kinds of People Who Use Zoom:

The Wise
The Wicked
The Simple
The One Who Does Not Know How to “Mute”

The Wise Person says: “I’ll handle the Admin Feature Controls and Chat Rooms, and forward the Cloud Recording Transcript after the call.”

The Wicked Person says: “Since I have unlimited duration, I scheduled the meeting for six hours—as it says in the Haggadah, whoever prolongs the telling of the story, harei zeh ‘shubah, is praiseworthy.”

The Simple Person says: “Hello? Am I on? I can hear you but I can’t see you.”
[Jerusalem Talmud reads here: “I can see you, but I can’t hear you.”]

The One Who Does Not Know How to Mute says: “How should I know where you put the keys? I’m stuck on this stupid Zoom call.”

To the Wise Person you should offer all of the Zoom Pro Optional Add-On Plans.

To the Wicked Person you should say: “Had you been in charge, we would still be in Egypt.”

To the Simple Person you should say: “Try the call-in number instead.”

To the One Who Does Not Know How to Mute you should say: “Why should this night be different from all other nights?”

You can find an all-too-serious discussion of a Zoom (pre) Seder here but it will take you over an hour to listen to all of it.

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