Monthly Archives: July 2005

Spam Poetry

Teresa Neilsen Hayden and her readers have supplied what I believe to be the world's largest collection of spam composed in the style of the Famous Poets and classic poetic forms. Here’s a villanelle for your reading pleasure, composed by Dave Luckett:

To god I swear, it's all quite real:
My son's in stir. I've large amounts
What he has stolen. You can steal
As well as us, so here's the deal:
Just specify your bank accounts.
To god I swear, it's all quite real –
The late Abacha had a feel
For dosh. The oil in flowing founts
What he has stolen! You can steal,
As he did. Slippery as eel,
Was he; now renders his accounts
To god. I swear, it's all quite real –
It's thirty million, under seal,
But if I move, I must renounce
What he has stolen! You can steal
It. Hear, oh hear, my sad appeal:
Just email me your bank accounts.
To god I swear, it's all quite real:
What he has stolen, you can steal.

And then there's this entry by Josh Jasper:

this is the song
of miriam abacha
the spammer

miriam is a widower
of some vizeer or wazoo
in darkest africa
and she claims
that her son
had absconded with
thirty large
after her old man
got sent to sing sing

that was a long time ago
and one must not be
surprised if miriam
has forgotten some of her
more regal manners

archy

Posted in Completely Different | Comments Off on Spam Poetry

Happy to be Here

I’m happy to be here, and I’ll try to hold down the fort while Michael’s out of town. This is the first blog I read every day; I can’t really live up to Michael’s standards, but I’ll give it my best shot.

As Michael explained in his too-complimentary introduction, I’m a law teacher. The O’Connor resignation, though, has been reminding me of the year I spent, way back when, working for the Justice Department. Late in the year, Harry Blackmun announced his resignation, and I found myself part of an ad hoc team putting together a memo for a White House working group on the decisions of Richard Arnold, an Eighth Circuit judge then being considered for the top job. I got the gig helping to summarize Arnold’s jurisprudence not because of any merit of my own, and not because I’d done anything like this before (I hadn’t), and not even because I worked for a unit of the Justice Department that was concerned with such things (I didn’t), but pretty much by happenstance. I thought we wrote a pretty good memo, considering that none of us had ever vetted a potential Supreme Court Justice before, and we were making up our procedures as we went along.

What I began to realize then, and came to realize much more fully later on, is that government decision-making routinely is undertaken, with the best of intentions, by people who have never been in this situation before and are making it up as they go along. I was working for the government again a few years later — this time for the Federal Communications Commission — and found myself part of an interagency group trying to figure out what to do about the domain name system. That was the process that brought you ICANN. And the most salient facts about it were that (1) we had the best of intentions; (2) we didn’t have a lot of humility; and (3) we didn’t know what we were doing. And it showed.

Don’t get me wrong. I like government. Some of my best friends have been in government. And these were the good guys — while I got a pretty good sense of the clueless and humility-free tendencies of government back then, nobody during the Clinton Administration was so hubristic and detached from reality as to pop off and invade another country at the cost of more than 1700 American lives, more than 20,000 Iraqi lives, and incalculable damage to U.S. foreign policy interests — so far, with only quagmire in our future. (That’s a matter for another post, I guess.) I did come away with the firm lesson, though, that one should never overestimate the extent to which government players (or anyone else) know what they’re doing, or have done it before.

Posted in Politics: US | 3 Comments

Say Hello to Guest Blogger Jon Weinberg

Another thing I've done to prepare for my trip is to line up a superb guest blogger. I'm only going to have limited Internet at best while abroad, so Jonathan Weinberg will be minding the store. Jon and I have several things in common. Among them are some intellectual sympathies: we're both part of the tiny number of Administrative Law teachers who write about ICANN and the Internet. (They're not that many of us around, which may explain why ICANN is run so badly.) We are co-editors at ICANNWatch. And — although this is now a larger group than it used to be — we're both part of law-professor faculty couples.

In addition to being one of the nicest people in law teaching, Jon knows a whole lot more about the FCC than I do. He's an expert on RFID. And he's clerked for two people who sat on the Supreme Court. Jon writes interesting and very readable articles, the most recent of which are listed after his official bio.

Jon will start Thursday (or earlier if he likes). I'm sure readers will enjoy his company as much as I do.

Posted in Discourse.net | Comments Off on Say Hello to Guest Blogger Jon Weinberg

Democrats Discover the Sleaze Issue

This one is going to be a winner: Democrats to Use Newspaper Ads to Accuse 6 Republican Congressmen on Ethics Issues.

I've been going on about this for a while.

Posted in Politics: The Party of Sleaze | Comments Off on Democrats Discover the Sleaze Issue

Phrasebook Greek

One of the things I've done to prepare for my trip to Greece is dig out the Greek phrasebook I've been storing since my previous trip, almost 20 years ago.

I'd forgotten quite how horrible and useless the Institute for Language Study's “Vest Pocket Modern Greek” was.

Here are real, honest to goodness, phrases that they provide. While reading these, keep in mind that there are only about ten phrases per page, and the phrase section of the book runs under seventy pages. And they still decided to include these.

  • What a fool!
  • Alice is less diligent than Barbara.
  • The girl with the big brown eyes was elected the queen of the ball.
  • My brother-in-law has a new truck.
  • I have never gone bankrupt.
  • Just continue your work. Don't look at the camera.
  • I appreciate truth.
  • What is faith? It is life's foundation.

You have to wonder what sort of traveler they had in mind. Apparently, one who needs to say, “The beautiful Greek girl didn't come to see us.”

Posted in Personal | 7 Comments

The Symi Symposium

Thursday the family leaves for Greece. By Sunday we will be in Crete, where I will have the good fortune to be part of the eighth annual Symi Symposium run by the Andreas Papandreou Foundation, a philanthropy headed by PASOK President George Papandreou. The Symposium is being held at a nice location near Rethymnon.

Here's the official description of what promises to be both interesting and idyllic:

The principle theme of this year’s Symposium is New Challenges to Democracy in the 21st Century. Participants will explore issues such as the democratic deficit in western countries; the role of technology in helping (or hindering) democracy; globalisation and its challenges to democratic institutions; views on democracy outside the West; the impact of terrorism on democracy; and how the relationship between religion and politics is being redefined.

The Symi Symposium, currently in its eighth year, is organised by the Andreas G. Papandreou Foundation. Its purpose is to bring together progressive politicians, academics, activists and intellectuals to exchange views on issues of importance to the global social democratic agenda.

The Symi Symposium is void of the constraints and formalities of typical conferences. Convened every year at a different seaside resort, it nurtures spirited debate in a discreet setting. Participants come from all over the world, and their varied backgrounds animate formal and informal discussions. In years past, the Symi Symposium has fostered ideas that have taken shape in the form of significant progressive political and public service initiatives.

I find that I learn the most at events where there is a substantial chance for informal interaction (the fewer speakers at meals, the better!). The program here — several days with a half day of scheduled events, then a half day of informal time — shows that the organizers understand this.

And, yes, I do know how lucky I am!

Posted in Talks & Conferences | Comments Off on The Symi Symposium