Category Archives: Completely Different

Your bigtime mainstream political bloggers like to talk about issues such as which Democrat might best help which candidate as a Veep (Clark is the equivalent of 'O' blood here—the universal match, and Edwards works almost as well, except of course when one of them is imagined as the candidate). That's a nice parlor game, but I have a new one, just as fun. Suppose, just for the sake of the argument, that all this talk about the source of the Great Leak being someone in Richard Cheney [fixed] office pans out. And, just to make it more exciting, suppose the Veep knew before, during, or even not too long after the Leak, and/or the circumstances are such that he should have known. (Please keep in mind that all is pure hi-octane speculation at the moment. There are no facts on the public record about who leaked.)

Who does Bush pick as his running mate to replace Cheney after he reluctantly decides on health grounds to spend more time with his family?

There's wars on in Iraq and Afghanistan, the economy is tanking, it appears that someone in the White House will trifle with a CIA agent's cover for cheap political revenge, there's uncertainty as to the integrity of the ballot box, but down here in South Florida, the local citizenry have their priorities straight and are sticking to domestic issues. For example, today's Miami Herald reports on the “crusade” by Homestead resident Cindy Adams to regularize the status of Miss Daisy.

Miss Daisy is not an undocumented immigrant washed up on these shores. She's native-born, but in an act of the rankest discrimination, the town of Homestead wants her rusticated just because she's a pig.

Ms. Adams is trying to right the injustice that threatens her porcine companion. The Miami Herald, a paper with a shrunken staff, shrunken news hole, and recent redesign by someone who was channeling USA Today is all over this story, with pictures, including this priceless one:

Not to be outdone when it comes to pork, Governor Jeb Bush has gotten out front on this essential issue of pigs rights, and has issued a proclamation saluting potbellied and other miniature pigs. But not too far out front. In keeping with the Jeb Bush strategy of never taking the visible lead on a red-meat (or is that a white-meat?) issue, our Governor didn't go as far as Alabama and Pennsylvania, which each proclaimed a “Minature Potbellied Pig Day”.

This sort of stuff is why local scribe Dave Barry has to keep saying “I am not making this up.”

Wasting Away in Margaritaville isn't just Sen. Bob Graham's favorite song, it's more or less the antham of Key West and erratic points north as far as South Beach. Imagine the horror that will grip South Florida if it sobers up enough to learn that Mexico is threatening to cut off all bulk exports of Tequila.

Kidding aside, this has all the makings of a classic NAFTA reference, as Mexico will claim its motive in blocking bulk exports is product purity, and the US will claim it's just a cover for the real motive, forcing all those bottling jobs to move south of the border

For today's enjoyment, we present a fairly typical Florida news item, Large lizards confiscated from trucker. Can you spot the odd and unusual fact?

A Connecticut truck driver was charged Wednesday with three misdemeanor offenses for traveling with his pets – a 3-foot alligator and a 5-foot caiman.

“He had a dog harness and a leash to walk the caiman with,” said Lt. Joy Hill, spokeswoman for the Florida Fish and Wildlife Conservation Commission, which levied the charges. “They are not really very warm and cuddly.”
…
Avery said the crocodilians were his pets and that he had the caiman about 10 years and the alligator for about a year. It is illegal to have an alligator for a pet in Florida, and one must have a Class II permit to have a caiman. Avery had no permit.

Is the odd fact that,

• A trucker kept good-sized crocs as pets?
• That he walked the crocs on a dog leash?
• That he didn't have a croc license?
• That he was a New Englander who brought his weirdness down to Florida?

No, all of those are the sort of things a good denezin of South Florida must learn to take without blinking. The weird thing about this story is that there's an applicable law and it was enforced…