Author Archives: Michael Froomkin

Friday Grumble

I spent waaay too much of the past 48 hours doing these:

  • Calling around town to find out if anyone has any Altusa Fumé roof tiles that I need to fix the damage from hurricane Wilma. They just laughed. So much for efficient markets. I need about 60 ridge tiles and about a dozen of the S-tiles (aka “field” tiles). Only guy who says he has any says he'll sell me ridge tiles, but I have to buy 10 field tiles for each ridge, because that's how they come. Not that desperate yet. Yet. I may just buy some that are a clashing color instead.
  • Trying to figure out why I got billed $37.04 in late fees on a discount store credit card. (We use the store credit card in that store rather than a bank credit card because they give you a discount when you use it. But this just ate a lot of it.) I pay the bills via my Very Large Bank's online bill payment system, and I always send in payments a few days early. I call the store to find out what gives. Hold. Punch wildly at buttons to get a human. Eventually the human says the store got the payment ten days late even though my records say I ordered it sent seven days early. I call Very Large Bank. The first guy says I have to talk to a different guy. We hold. We hold. I am switched to the call center somewhere several continents away, and in due course, “Armando” (yah, right) says they mailed it on time, seven days early like I asked them to, to the address in Illinois.

    Whoops. According to the bill I'm looking at the store's payment address is now in Tampa. Since the store presumes you will pay by check, and the address printed on the bill will show through the little hole in their envelope, they never did anything to call the change to my attention and of course I had no reason to notice: I typed the old address into Very Large Bank's bill payment service several years ago, and I don't even see it when I say how much to send the store. It seems that even though store's credit operation is run by GE Finance, they don't have electronic systems that talk with Very Large Bank. So my internet e-payment causes Very Large Bank to mail a physical check to GE Payments. Which went to Illinois before being forwarded to Tampa, a seventeen day trip.

  • Putting together the paperwork needed to convince my university-provided health insurance company that the on-campus medical center that billed them for a visit last December is an actual medical office staffed by real doctors entitled to payment under health insurance rather than by me.

Oh, and did I mention that my campus email account hosted at osaka.law.miami.edu has been down since 10pm last night? Fortunately, my other mail is working fine if you want to reach me.

Posted in Econ & Money | 2 Comments

Rats

I was going to suggest that this is today’s best blog posting anywhere–but it seems that the part about the bearded lady and the talking seal was made up.

But most of the rest about the clowns appears to be true.

Posted in Blogs | Comments Off on Rats

WordPress Designer Needed

I am involved in a non-profit project that wants to set up a very distinctive wordpress blog.

The ideal theme would have a great and appropriate logo. It would work with a text-rich site (either one-column with something cute to attract notice to a few fixed links and elements or more likely two-column). And it would make extensive use of WordPress 2.0’s ability to build a theme customization panel that allows on-the-fly theme customization so we could, for example, have a suite of similar looking blogs with different colors and perhaps type faces. Advice on suitable color combos for the first half dozen variants would also be welcomed. The programming work (installation, plugins) is covered; what’s needed is design work by someone used to making themes for WordPress.

Of course, being non-profit, the project’s funds are…limited. But not zero.

If any readers have experience in this sort of work, or can recommend someone experienced (and public-spirited when writing bills), please contact me via email.

Posted in Personal | 2 Comments

White House Switchboard Modernizes

“Thank you for calling the White House switchboard. Our new voice activated system will help direct you to the proper office.”

“If you are calling to complain about the mishandling of the war in Iraq, press one.”

“If you are calling to complain about the abuse of prisoners and the White House’s endorsement of torture, press two, and then say the name of the torture site that you wish to complain about (and please note for the sake of the voice mail system that it is pronounced Abu GRABE, not Abu grahb).”

“If you are calling to complain about illegal spying on American citizens and the abuse of FISA laws, press 3, but do know that these calls will be recorded.”

“If you are calling to complain about the disastrous mismanagement of the hurricane Katrina recovery, please press 4, and your call will be directed to the Federal Emergency Management Agency. If you wait for more than 48 hours without anyone picking up the phone, hang-up and send a letter. We have been assured that all letters will receive a prompt reply within one year.”

“If you are calling regarding the administration’s unwillingness to enforce immigration law, press cinco, por favor, or direct any thanks to your local chamber of commerce office, which can explain why we like cheap labor that can’t vote and where you may be able to find willing illegal day laborers in your local area.”

“If you are Jack Abramoff or any Saudi prince, please call the private line * it is always open.”

“If you are calling about the Medicare prescription debacle, please press 6. If you are having a medical emergency, you should proceed directly to your local emergency room, although please understand that your health coverage may not pay for the visit and you can no longer get out from under the bill by declaring bankruptcy.”

“If you are calling about the ballooning federal deficit or the recent hike in the debt ceiling to $39 trillion, please press 7, unless you are Bill Clinton calling to brag about the surpluses under your administration, in which case we don’t want to hear about it.”

“If you are calling to complain about the White House’s efforts to block stem cell research, please press 8, and then say the disease that you are most concerned about that may ultimately be cured through scientific research. If you are a scientist calling with new research findings or important clinical data, please hang up, we don’t want to hear from you.”

“If you are calling to express concern about global warming and our efforts to roll back environmental laws, please press 9, unless you are a government scientist, in which case you are forbidden to talk without first clearing it with the oil lobbyist we hired to screen and edit your research. He can be reached at Exxon 4-2611.”

“If you are calling to complain about the President’s efforts to “privatize” social security, please press 1 and then the pound key, and your call will be redirected to representatives at Merrill Lynch, who will explain the virtues of putting all your savings in the stock market.”

“If you are calling about the need for more prayer in public schools or any other faith-based initiatives, please press 1 and then the star key, and Reverend Falwell will be with you shortly.”

“If you are calling to lobby for more Supreme Court Justices who will block a woman’s right to choose, please stay on the line and the President will be with you immediately.”

“If you are calling about all the tax breaks for the wealthy, press *1 if you have ideas for more loopholes and are making more than a million dollars per year; if you are earning less than a million per year but have ideas for how you may help the wealthy, press *2; if you are earning less than a million per year and just want to complain that all the burden is now falling on you, please call back in a couple of years.”

“If you voted for President Bush and are now concerned that over 12% of the U.S. population now falls below the poverty line while the top 1% has wildly increased their wealth, please understand that we are not laughing AT you.”

“Press zero at any time if you would like to hear these options again.”

“Thank you for calling the White House. It is our pleasure to serve you.”

(via VirusHead)

Posted in Completely Different | 4 Comments

Lessons

One of the hard lessons we all learn growing up is that people who have power often abuse it. The Framers well understood this problem and tried to separate power among three branches of government. They also understood the vulnerabilities of their Great Experiment: faction and popular passions. The existence of this tradition, its deeply ingrained roots in the American psyche, still provide the best hope for a reaction against the excesses of the Republican domination of all three branches of government: a Republican-appointed judiciary that awarded an election without allowing for an accurate count of the votes; a Republican-dominated Congress that refuses to call that Republican President to account.

But you don’t have to be a Republican to abuse your power. And you certainly don’t have to be in government. It may even be easier in the private sector. Consider the behavior of the University of Miami, led by Donna Shalala, no Republican she (although she is paid over half a million a year and lives like one): according to the Miami Herald, her university is manipulating the process in its academic disciplines case against students charged with misbehavior during a quite well-behaved protest in favor of the unionization effort.

And the terms on which the University is settling the cases seem harsh: several students — the exact number isn’t clear — are being kicked out of university housing, which means they’ll probably be paying more to live somewhere less convenient. Here’s how Herald columnist Ana Menendez characterized the state of play:

Faced with a rigged system — lawyers say administrators were to function as witness, prosecutor, judge and jury — students began settling their cases with the university at about the same time the union announced a majority of janitors had voted to join.

The settlements continue. Punishments have included academic probation, a 500-word essay and, most ironically of all, community service.

”Here we are being sentenced to community service when we’re being tried for a service we did to the community,” said Amy Sun, 21, a psychology major who pleaded no contest.

Far more troubling than anything the students did is the way UM administrators have chosen to deal with it, going after students with a zeal that seems to have more to do with retribution than justice.

First, administrators threatened students with major charges that could get them expelled or suspended. When a who’s-who of Miami’s legal talent stepped forward to defend the students, UM quickly retreated, downgrading the complaint to “university offenses.”

”Under their own rules, a student who is charged with a university offense is not entitled to right of counsel,” said attorney Lida Rodriguez, who is advising Jacob Coker-Dukowitz, one of the student leaders. “They did it not out of kindness but out of trying to deprive them of the assistance of an advisor.”

Late Tuesday, Coker-Dukowitz, who had been one of the hold-outs, joined the others in settling his case. He, too, loses his housing at the coveted University Village, punishment that also imposes a financial burden.

[UM attorney Eric ] Isicoff maintains that the case against the students is not about free speech. UM, he said, is simply “representing the right of a whole other group of people who do not wish to engage in this manner.”

To which I have only one — carefully considered — reply: bull.

The kindest take on the administration’s position that I can construct is this: it wanted to send students a message that if they make life hard for the administration, and disrupt its operations, they will pay. And to the extent that the administration is worried about the long-run consequences one can see why it might be afraid to look as if it were setting a precedent that administrative offices can be occupied with no penalty. In fact, I think I’d be worried about that issue in their shoes too.

So if we’re going to see it that way — and remember that is the kindest construction I can put on what the administration is up to — then we have to also admit that the actual proceedings, none of which involve the actual occupation, are a complete abuse of process. (Not to mention that it’s unclear to me to what extent the two groups of students overlap.) The ostensible charges, failing to disperse from a peaceful gathering and leafleting with non-commercial political tracts, are NOT the sort of things that universities should punish. They are the signs of engaged citizens in a community. We should value and celebrate them.

For if we don’t encourage the creation of engaged citizens, then the engine that would keep the Great Experiment from collapsing will lose an essential mainspring.

Fortunately, my sense is that the students involved have not been cowed. Instead, they’ve been radicalized. And we may well reap the harvest when they come back in the fall.

I said at the start of the strike that it presented a teaching moment. At the time, many law students who wanted more than anything just to get on with their lives hated this characterization (and some of their reactions taught me something). But I still think it was a good description. It just turns out that the lessons were a little different than I expected.

Posted in U.Miami: Strike'06 | 15 Comments

The First Thing We Do…

…if we’re setting up a lawless state … is kill all the lawyers.

Iraqi police Wednesday discovered the bullet-riddled body of Khamees al-Ubaidi, a lead defense attorney for former Iraqi leader Saddam Hussein.

His body was found in a Shia neighborhood near the Sadr City section of Baghdad, police said.

An hour earlier, a group of men dressed as Iraqi police stormed al-Ubaidi’s home and asked him to come to the Ministry of Interior of questioning, according to Najib al-Nouemi, a fellow defense counsel for Hussein.

Things are getting better in Iraq every day. That nice Mr. Cheney says so, and he wouldn’t lie to me.

Posted in Iraq | 2 Comments