Category Archives: Kultcha

When the Featured is the Whole Feature

I recently spent three minutes and forty-two seconds of my life that I will never get back listening to DJ Khaled – I Believe (from Disney’s A WRINKLE IN TIME) ft. Demi Lovato on YouTube. (In my defense, it autoplayed.)

I admit I totally don’t get the appeal of either artist, especially DJ Khaled–and not because of some non-existent aversion to rap either. But de gustibus non est disputandum and all that. So my question is not why does this basically uninteresting song have more than 1.6 million views — autoplay, right? or maybe movie tie-in — but rather, how can this possibly be called a song by DJ Khaled featuring Demi Lovato, when by my very rough count (I will not make myself play it again) he supplies the audio for less than 15 seconds and appears on the video doing his arm-wavy thing for at most a little more than that.

She does all the work, it’s his song with her ‘guest’ vocal?

By the way, Chloe x Halle’s Warrior from the same soundtrack, while in no way ground-breaking, is much nicer and the video also better-looking:

Yet as of this writing it has only under 400K views, less than a quarter of the other one.

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Weird Al does Hamilton

The genius of Weird Al Yankovic is marrying sympathy for the material he parodies with a childish (sophomoric seems too grown up) comedic sensibility. His Hamilton medley featuring an accordion was I suppose inevitable.

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Bow Ties are In Again

“This year’s draft broke the record for the most freshmen chosen, but the real record might have been for the most bow ties worn by draftees.” – NYT, Bow Ties and Statement Sneakers at the N.B.A. Draft

As someone who, when wearing a tie, has worn only bow ties since college (funerals and juries excepted), I’m happy to hear it. Over the years I’ve been asked if the bow tie meant I was a follower of Elijah Muhammed (yes, really, a first year student asked me that about 20 years ago), or a conservative (I blame George Will and Tucker Carlson for the tarnishment). I’m much happier to be associated with the fashion-forward NBA.

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Monster Mashup

I’m guessing that most of the readers of this blog won’t care, and some others won’t agree, but I think it’s a shame that this piece of mashup brilliance by the Kleptones has only had fewer than 62000 views on YouTube since being uploaded exactly seven years ago. Even if the ending is abrupt.

Wikipedea on the Kleptones:

The Kleptones are a one-man English electronic music group fronted by music producer and DJ Eric Kleptone. They are best known for their Internet-exclusive mashup albums. Typically, Eric Kleptone mixes rock/R&B instrumentals with rap and hip-hop vocals in a style that is “fun… and often surprising”.[1] Both his name and the group’s name are parodies of the famous guitarist, Eric Clapton, and a play on the fact that he is a “klepto of tones” (that is, he “steals” others’ music).

Update: OK, I see 125K views on Vimeo, which is a little better, but still way short of what it deserves.

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“He Puts the Pluto in Plutocrat”

“Tin Foil Hat” by Todd Rundgren and Donald Fagen. Lyrics via Down With Tyranny:

He’s coming down the escalator
With a girl from east of here
He wants to make the country greater
We’ve got nothing left to fear

Because the man in the tin foil hat
Is sitting on the throne tonight
It kinda feels like coup de tat
But it’s gonna be great, tremendous, amazing and all that

‘Cause the man in the tin foil hat
Is tweeting like a teenage girl
He puts the Pluto in plutocrat
It’s gonna be a yuge yuge yuge new world

He hasn’t got the time for losers
Unless they do as he commands
He’s writing checks to his accusers
With those tiny little hands

Because the man in the tin foil hat
Is sitting on the throne tonight
It kinda feels like coup de tat
But it’s gonna be a yuge yuge yuge new world

‘Cause the man in the tin foil hat
Is gonna drain the swamp tonight
And fill it with up with alternative facts
It’s gonna be great, tremendous, amazing and all that

‘Cause the man in the tin foil hat
Is tweeting like a teenage girl
He puts the Pluto in plutocrat
It’s gonna be a yuge yuge yuge new world

Because the man in the tin foil hat
Is sitting on the throne tonight
It kinda feels like coup de tat
It’s gonna be great, tremendous, amazing and all that.

Posted in Kultcha, The Resistance | Comments Off on “He Puts the Pluto in Plutocrat”

Banned on the BBC

Top of the charts in the UK, but the BBC won’t play it due to its policy of pre-election balance.

Oh, and it’s a catchy tune too.

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