Sounds plausible to me.
Category Archives: Completely Different
Making the rounds (wish I knew the original author, I’d credit…Update According to the comment below, this is by Rabbi Richard Hirsh, of Bryn Mawr, PA):
The Torah Speaks of Four Kinds of People Who Use Zoom:
The One Who Does Not Know How to “Mute”
The Wise Person says: “I’ll handle the Admin Feature Controls and Chat Rooms, and forward the Cloud Recording Transcript after the call.”
The Wicked Person says: “Since I have unlimited duration, I scheduled the meeting for six hours—as it says in the Haggadah, whoever prolongs the telling of the story, harei zeh ‘shubah, is praiseworthy.”
The Simple Person says: “Hello? Am I on? I can hear you but I can’t see you.”
[Jerusalem Talmud reads here: “I can see you, but I can’t hear you.”]
The One Who Does Not Know How to Mute says: “How should I know where you put the keys? I’m stuck on this stupid Zoom call.”
To the Wise Person you should offer all of the Zoom Pro Optional Add-On Plans.
To the Wicked Person you should say: “Had you been in charge, we would still be in Egypt.”
To the Simple Person you should say: “Try the call-in number instead.”
To the One Who Does Not Know How to Mute you should say: “Why should this night be different from all other nights?”
You can find an all-too-serious discussion of a Zoom (pre) Seder here but it will take you over an hour to listen to all of it.
Apparently this is making the rounds in France:
*Un avis de l’Association des psychiatres: *
* Chers citoyens: *
* Pendant la période QUARANTAINE, il est considéré comme normal de parler à vos murs, plantes et pots. Veuillez nous contacter uniquement s’ils répondent.
Which translates more or less to:
* Notice from the National Psychiatric Association: *
* Dear citizens: *
* During this period of QUARANTINE, it is considered normal to talk to your walls, plants and pots. Please contact us only if they reply.
Times may be tough, but at least we have The Onion’s biting headlines:
- GOP Urges End Of Quarantine For Lifeless Bipedal Automatons That Make Economy Go
- Restless Trump Can’t Believe He Stuck Inside With Nothing To Do But Be President
- Coronavirus Forces Landlord To Cut Back On Taking Care Of Building From 1 To 0 Hours A Week
- Self-Isolated Woman Going So Crazy She’s Started Talking To Her Spouse
…and my current favorite…