For Your Zoom Seder

Making the rounds (wish I knew the original author, I’d credit…Update According to the comment below, this is by Rabbi Richard Hirsh, of Bryn Mawr, PA):

The Torah Speaks of Four Kinds of People Who Use Zoom:

The Wise
The Wicked
The Simple
The One Who Does Not Know How to “Mute”

The Wise Person says: “I’ll handle the Admin Feature Controls and Chat Rooms, and forward the Cloud Recording Transcript after the call.”

The Wicked Person says: “Since I have unlimited duration, I scheduled the meeting for six hours—as it says in the Haggadah, whoever prolongs the telling of the story, harei zeh ‘shubah, is praiseworthy.”

The Simple Person says: “Hello? Am I on? I can hear you but I can’t see you.”
[Jerusalem Talmud reads here: “I can see you, but I can’t hear you.”]

The One Who Does Not Know How to Mute says: “How should I know where you put the keys? I’m stuck on this stupid Zoom call.”

To the Wise Person you should offer all of the Zoom Pro Optional Add-On Plans.

To the Wicked Person you should say: “Had you been in charge, we would still be in Egypt.”

To the Simple Person you should say: “Try the call-in number instead.”

To the One Who Does Not Know How to Mute you should say: “Why should this night be different from all other nights?”

You can find an all-too-serious discussion of a Zoom (pre) Seder here but it will take you over an hour to listen to all of it.

This entry was posted in Completely Different. Bookmark the permalink.

One Response to For Your Zoom Seder

  1. richard hirsh says:

    Hi I am the author

    Rabbi Richard Hirsh, Bryn Mawr PA

    My name was on it went it went out….

Comments are closed.