If This is True, then Palaeontologists Are Crueler than I Thought

According to an impeachable news source, the UK's Guardian, in an otherwise unremarkable story about how scientists now think that T.Rex achieved its enormous size by an sudden four-ton teenage growth spurt, followed by the sort of short life we expect for binge eaters, one finds this remark:

The T rex in the Steven Spielberg movie Jurassic Park famously snatched and devoured a lawyer cowering in a lavatory. Palaeontologists have since heartlessly adopted the lawyer as a standard unit of dinosaur diet.

Please say it ain't so.

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4 Responses to If This is True, then Palaeontologists Are Crueler than I Thought

  1. Sorry, professor, it’s so. In fact, paleontologist James Farlow (I believe of Indiana Purdue University) calculated the number of lawyers a grown T Rex had to eat in order to stay alive, and found it to be (at an average lawyer weight of 68 kilograms) 292 lawyers a year. Although suggesting we’ve become a universal food measurement for giant killer lizards may be going a bit far.

  2. Mojo says:

    The Tyrannosaurus rex is extinct and it’s natural prey have multiplied beyond the habitat’s ability to support them. It’s classic ecology!

  3. Be careful, Mojo…you’re going to give the dinosaur cloning lobby an environmental argument for attorney population control….next thing you know they’ll reopen hunting season.

    “The first thing we do, let’s kill all the lawyers.

    Nay, that I mean to do. Is not this a lamentable thing, that of the skin of an innocent lamb should be made parchment, being scribbled o’er, should undo a man: Some say the bee stings; but I say, “tis the bee’s wax: for I did but seal once to a thing, and I was never mine own man since.”

  4. Barry Freed says:

    Not to worry. I hear T. Rex was a notoriously finicky eater and had a marked preference for members of the Federalist Society.

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