Category Archives: Florida

Meanwhile, Back in Tallahassee

The Florida legislature has been unusually busy this year, and by and large the results are pretty ugly.

The legislature passed, and Jeb Bush signed, a bill repealing the doctrine of joint and several liability in Florida. Henceforth, joint tortfeasors will no longer be required to contribute more than their percentage of the judge or jury’s assessment of their share of the total fault. Deep pockets can rest easier. The value of patsies just increased. And victims (and taxpayers) will have to pay more when some members of a group of joint tortfeasors are judgment-proof.

Florida is infested with billboards. And south Florida is full of billboards blatantly erected in violation of local law…which for years wasn’t enforced in exchange for bribes and/or campaign contributions. Eventually, the laws here got changed to ‘grandfather’ them in so that some streets I drive on, like Bird Road, are overrun with the things. The Florida legislature’s reaction to this will, however, boggle your mind. It has just passed a bill that…protects billboards from the threat of being obstructed by trees.

Ladybird Johnson must be spinning in her grave. [UPDATE: As noted by an astute commentator, Ladybird Johnson is in fact living; according to the wikipedia “She has been protected by the Secret Service longer than anyone else in history.”] This isn’t just a failure to ‘beautify’ roads — it’s a public commitment to permanent uglification. If Jeb Bush signs this one, local governments will be forbidden from planting any trees where they might obstruct the public’s view of those glorious billboards.

The bill requires that billboards be given a clear sight line of 500 feet on roads with speed limits above 35 mph and 350 feet where the speed limit is under 35 mph. If counties or cities plant trees within that zone, they have 90 days to remove them or face a court fight and fines.

And if existing trees near a billboard are knocked down in a hurricane or if they die, they cannot be replaced except by low-growing shrubs or flowers that do not block the sign.

Still on the legislative agenda: proposals to gut the class-size amendment, the voter-approved mandate to have small classes in schools. That amendment has been a perennial bone in the Republican throat since at some point you might actually have to appropriate money to build those classrooms and pay those teachers.

There has been a ray of good news: spurred by the public scandal of an on-camera murder of a child by guards at a Florida “boot camp” (and the furor over the ensuing attempt at a coverup, then a whitewash), the legislature has voted to “demilitarize” the boot camps to which youthful offenders can be sent. Instead of a regime where guards, who were essentially unregulated and unsupervised, could and did use as much violence as they wanted for minor infractions such as ‘not looking respectful’, the new statute “bans the use of stun guns, pepper spray, pressure points, mechanical restraints and psychological intimidation unless a child is a threat to himself or others.” Yes, in Florida this really is enormous progress, so let’s be grateful for it.

Posted in Florida | 11 Comments

I Hope He’s Exaggerating

Here’s how one local anonymous lawyer-blogger sees the Jeb Bush administration’s approach to state judicial appointments:

WANTED: ONE APPELLATE COURT JUDGE.

QUALIFICATIONS: MEMBER OF THE BAR. REPUBLICAN OR TO THE RIGHT OF REPUBLICAN. Cannot have practiced criminal defense law. Cannot have ever said anything nice about a criminal defense attorney or a defendant.

The ideal applicant will be a Judge who has never granted a motion to suppress, a JOA, or sentenced a Defendant to anything under the top of the guidelines. Having never granted a motion for a defense continuance is a plus.

Must work well with Judge Rothenberg and be willing to overlook, ignore, or explain away at least eight of the first ten amendments to the Constitution.

Legal research skills must be limited to the late 1700’s case law, as only those candidates that promise to apply only the original intent of the framers will be considered, especially in cases involving the internet, computers, telecommunications, or searches of automobiles.

Membership in organizations that espouse the belief that the United States Of America is a Christian Country, and that separation of church and state is an outmoded concept will receive a favorable and expedited review.

Democrats, people who read books other than the Bible, and defense attorneys need not apply.

Pay flexible based on experience.
Ask about our “per curiam affirmed” bonus program for criminal appeals!!!!

Posted in Florida | Comments Off on I Hope He’s Exaggerating

Animals Behaving Badly

The silly season is starting early this year, and there are lots of Florida animal stories in the news, notably Fla. Island Town Overrun With Iguanas (Boca Grande, far from here) and Florida’s newest problem: Burmese Pythons (not far from here at all).

Florida’s newest problem is roughly the circumference of a telephone pole. It has no toes. It snacks on rabbits. It’s the Burmese python. And in South Florida, the problem is growing in number and in feet.

“Last year, we caught 95 pythons,” said Skip Snow, a biologist with Florida Everglades National Park. That’s not counting the 13-footer that exploded after trying to eat an alligator, or two others that got loose and ate a Siamese cat and a turkey.

Actually, despite the headline, it’s not that new, but it does give me an excuse to link to the old story about the python-alligator death match.


Caption: The hind legs and tail of a two-metre alligator protude out of the body of a dead, four-metre python in Everglades National Park in Florida.

But back to the new python scare story for a minute:

Pythons have also discovered suburbia, said Capt. Ernie Jillson, who helps run the Miami-Dade County fire department’s snake squad. They catch around 20 pythons a year.

Miami-Dade County Fire Dept. has a “snake squad”??? And they’ve caught no local politicians? This requires an investigation. (Also, does the Fire Dept. have a ‘cat up tree squad’ or is that just part of normal duties?)

Posted in Florida | 1 Comment

Sun-Sentinel Is Against The War

The Sun-Sentinel is a quality newspaper a bit north of here. It has a justly deserved reputation as being pretty conservative editorially, and even in some of its political coverage. (A long-time state political reporter just got reassigned for being too overtly Republican, showing both that there’s a tilt, and that the place has some standards.)

So it’s interesting that the Sun-Sentinel editorial page, which I gather has been a big cheerleader for the Iraq war, is now not only vehemently against the Iraq war, but trying to suggest it was always against it. That’s right: the war is now so unpopular that former backers are obfuscating their prior support.

Incidentally, the paper’s April 7 editorial is real strong stuff. Here’s how it starts:

Three years, 19 days. And counting.

More than 2,300 Americans killed. More than 16,000 wounded, many of them maimed for life. And then there are the tens of thousands of Iraqi victims.

Almost $400 billion spent so far, followed by another $330 million every day.

These are the tangible costs of the Iraq war. There are other costs that are harder to measure precisely, but they are many and they are mounting. It can be strongly argued that they are largely the fault of a president who is stubborn, intractable, dogmatic, exclusionary and intellectually dishonest, and who appears reluctant to operate outside his inner circle.

Democrats (and Republicans) take note.

Posted in Florida, Iraq, The Media | 2 Comments

New Florida Chief Justice is UM Graduate

Justice R. Fred Lewis, a graduate of the University of Miami School of Law, will be the 52nd Chief Justice of the Florida Supreme Court.

And students say their career options are limited?

Posted in Florida | 2 Comments

GOP in Trouble in Florida

St. Petersburg Times Online — The Buzz: For GOP, Perilous Polling:

Florida Republicans could be in deep trouble this cycle. Consider:

–When asked whether they’d prefer Republicans or Democrats to control Congress after November’s elections, 48 percent said Democrats and 38 percent said Republicans. Only 20 percent of independents wanted Republicans in control.
–Not even Jeb Bush could beat Bill Nelson at this point. In a hypothetical matchup 48 percent supported Bill Nelson and 44 percent Bush. Back in November, the same pollster found Bush beating Nelson by 5 percentage points.

And — yes! — Harris stays in the race.

Posted in Florida, Politics: US: 2006 Election | 2 Comments