The Pizza Theory of Contemporary Politics

Killer Pizza

Image © 2008 Chris Radcliff.
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James Grimmelmann explains the state of play in U.S. politics.  (Applies to the UK as well, alas):

I go back to this tweet a lot:

This election is like if your friends pick dinner and 3 vote pizza and 2 vote “kill and eat you”. Even if pizza wins, there’s a big problem.
— Andrew Shvarts (@Shvartacus)
August 9, 2016

Three months later, “kill and eat you” won the 2016 election. Three years on, “kill and eat you” is an established feature of the United States political system. To continue the metaphor:

  • One person wants plain cheese pizza.
  • One person wants vegan fig and mushroom pizza.
  • One person wants to kill and eat you because the talking lizards living under his bed told him that you have delicious space aliens hiding under your skin.
  • One person wants to kill and eat you because anything else would be better than pizza again.
  • One person hasn’t been paying attention, isn’t really hungry, and doesn’t really believe in killing people or talking lizards, but says you have to admit that the talking-lizards guy makes some valid points about the aliens.

Living together in this house is impossible, and yet it goes on. You can’t make the talking-lizards guy move out; he has too many friends. (Even if he did, could you ever really trust your other friend who went along with him?) You can’t move out; you have nowhere else to go. The fact of the matter is, dinner – and your life – depend on the person who knows and cares the least about either.

(There’s more where that came from.)

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1 Response to The Pizza Theory of Contemporary Politics

  1. sohbet says:

    Any suggestions would be greatly appreciated.

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