Romney Revealed

It pains me to link to link to this guy, but “The Real Romney” is very funny. Do not read while drinking coffee. Yes, you might call parts of it sophomoric, but I think a good part of the humor is surprise — this is by conservative apologist and spinner David Brooks.

It begins:

Mitt Romney was born on March 12, 1947, in Ohio, Florida, Michigan, Virginia and several other swing states. He emerged, hair first, believing in America, and especially its national parks. He was given the name Mitt, after the Roman god of mutual funds, and launched into the world with the lofty expectation that he would someday become the Arrow shirt man.

Romney was a precocious and gifted child. He uttered his first words (“I like to fire people”) at age 14 months, made his first gaffe at 15 months and purchased his first nursery school at 24 months. The school, highly leveraged, went under, but Romney made 24 million Jujubes on the deal.

Mitt grew up in a modest family. His father had an auto body shop called the American Motors Corporation, and his mother owned a small piece of land, Brazil. He had several boyhood friends, many of whom owned Nascar franchises, and excelled at school, where his fourth-grade project, “Inspiring Actuaries I Have Known,” was widely admired.

And it gets better.

(We didn’t get our paper today, so this is via Bark Bark Woof Woof.)

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5 Responses to Romney Revealed

  1. Vic says:

    You, the Man With No Sense Of Humor, really need to stop admitting to us the things you actually find funny. This is just hack work, not comedy. You live in the land of Dave Barry and carl Hiaasen…and you think THIS is funny?

    Find some of Barry’s stuff from the RNC.

    • And I think a lot of lawyer jokes are funny too. Not everyone I know agrees. De gustibus non est disputandum.

      • Vic says:

        Hey, a GOOD joke is a good joke, whatever the subject.

        This was just unfunny – matters of taste have nothing to do with it.

        • And what is funny, what is a “GOOD” joke, is science, not a question of taste?

          • Vic says:

            You’re twisting my words. All I said was that it was unfunny. The fact that someone with a repeatedly demonstrated lack of a sense of humor THINKS it’s funny (that would be you), does not help me think it funny.

            Really, I’ll laugh at anything lampooning anybody. Brooks’ piece was just painful.

            Some people just don’t posses the ability to understand or create humor. There’s nothing wrong with that…except when they inevitably think they can.

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