Slacktivist points us to Share Your Favorite Religious Joke! just in time for exam period, during which everyone needs a laugh.
There were some old favorites, and many which were new to me, including these:
Patrick was on his way to a job interview, but was running late as usual. As he was searching fruitlessly through the parking lot for a space, he prayed, “Lord, if you find me a parking spot I’ll go to church every Sunday, stop swearing, and give up me Irish whiskey!” Miraculously, a space suddenly opened up!
and Patrick looked up to heaven and said…
“Never mind, Lord. I found one.”
HOW MANY CHRISTIANS DOES IT TAKE TO CHANGE A LIGHTBULB?
Charismatic: Only one. Hands already in the air.
Pentecostals: Ten. One to change the bulb and nine to pray against the spirit of darkness.
Presbyterians: None. Lights will go off and on at predestined times.
Roman Catholic: None. Candles only.
Baptists: At least 15. One to change the light bulb and three committees to approve the change and decide who brings the potato salad.
Episcopalians: Three. One to call the electrician, one to mix the drinks and one to talk about how much better the old bulb was.
Mormons: Five. One man to change the bulb and four wives to tell him how to do it.
Unitarians: We choose not to make a statement either in favor of or against the need for a light bulb. However, if in your own journey you have found that light bulbs work for you, that is fine. You are invited to write a poem or compose a modern dance about your light bulb for the next Sunday service, in which we will explore a number of light bulb traditions including incandescent, fluorescent, three-way, long-life and tinted, all of which are equally valid paths to luminescence.
Methodists: Undetermined. Whether your light bulb is bright, dull, or completely out, you are loved. You can be a light bulb, turnip bulb or tulip bulb. A church-wide lighting service is planned for Sunday. Bring a bulb of your choice and a covered dish.
Nazarene: Six. One woman to replace the bulb while five men review the church lighting policy.
Lutherans: None. Lutherans don’t believe in change.
Amish: What’s a light bulb?
Previously: Six! Yes, Six New Lightbulb Jokes and Canadian Jokes Anyone?.
Incidentally, for a long time that post about Canadian jokes was one of the ten most viewed posts on this site.
Well, it’s not quite a religious joke — but how’s this headline for the laugh of the day:
“Richard Epstein and John Yoo Discuss Law School Reform” http://bit.ly/uVffrP
How many shrinks does it take to change a lightbulb? One, but the lightbulb must want to change.
How many Jewish mothers does it take to change a lightbulb? None. Don’t mind me–I don’t mind the darkness…
Oldies but goodies………
In response to the lightbulb incident, Acme Friends Meeting will hold a global warming vigil at the power company.