In Which I Gripe About My Employer

I don't usually gripe here about my employer. That isn't because I lead a life with absolutely nothing to gripe about, nor is it due to a saintly disposition. Rather, it's a self-imposed time, place, and manner restriction.

But someone at the University of Miami School of Law has done something which annoys me.

And it annoys me pretty much every day I come to work.

So I am going to vent about it here.

Some bright spark in the law school — or maybe in the University, this could be a campus-wide phenomenon for all I know — has had the really wonderful idea of putting hideous signs in all the men's rooms. (And, again for all I know, putting them in the ladies' rooms too. I haven't investigated.)

They over-use capitalization; I know, that war was lost long ago.

These signs are green. UM green. It's not my favorite color, so that's a bad start. But lots of things are green in life, including plants and trees. And I like plants and trees. (So long as they're outside. And I don't have to hike around them. But I digress.)

These signs are ugly. But that's not what really bugs me. I could live with ugly. Lots of signs are ugly. (Especially green signs.)

But these signs are smarmy. And they are strategically located where you cannot avoid looking at them.

They are, in fact, creepy in their smarmyness.

The message may seem inoffensive:

“Please Show
Courtesy to
Others By Helping
Us Keep Our
Bathroom Clean”

and indeed I don't have anything against the message. Except the capitalization. And the odd linebreaks. And did I mention they are green? And — worse — did they have to throw in quote marks for no good reason? Who is being quoted here?

But (try to) forget all that, the real problem here is the illustration. It's so horrible I've placed it in the continuation section of this blog post so that I won't have to look at it on my homepage.

There is no need for you to click on this thing. If you do, don't blame me. I warned you.


A smiling roll of toilet paper? That's just…awful.

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21 Responses to In Which I Gripe About My Employer

  1. csrster says:

    The quotation marks and the knowing look on the bogroll suggest that the signs are intended ironically. But this would imply that they are actually a challenge _not_ to keep the bathroom clean, which seems unlikely.

    This reminds me of some very mysterious signs which appeared in the toilets of the Physics Department at my university a couple of years ago, which read, freely translated, “These toilets are to be used only for the usual purposes”. One can only speculate as to what transgression of the unspoken lavatory code provoked this signage – intravenous drug use? hot nerd-loving?

    Now, alas, they only have rather dull notices explaining the function of the lavatory brush. I think a simple sign with an arrow pointing at the brush and the words “This isn’t for brushing your teeth” would be more effective.

  2. Pete C says:

    Swipey the smiling TP is speaking, that’s why the quote marks. It could have been worse. They might have chosen to quote Stainy the snarling smear mark.

  3. John Flood says:

    Or, it could have been that friendly little character from South Park

  4. Ben Hyde says:

    Your one off from dangerous flame bait…

    “She once threw her column open to a discussion of whether toilet paper should be hung with the free end coming over or under the roll; 15,000 letters later, Mrs. Lederer (herself in the ”under” camp) had to call a moratorium on further debate.” —

    You take care now.

  5. “I Think The Real Problem Here Is That The Toilet Paper Needs To Be Pulled From Under Rather Than Over The Roll.”

  6. Actually, I meant it should be pulled from over rather under. I was too caught up in capitalizing all my letters to notice my mistake.

  7. It is definitely over, unless you own a cat.

  8. Joe1 says:

    The sign wouldn’t bother me much, although it does show as a waste of university resources because it had to printed at some cost. At my office, we thought about putting a sign in the restroom that listed all men who used the restroom and didn’t wash their hands afterwards. This sign would not include a title, just a list of the names of the known non-washers. Since one of the known non-washers was everybody’s supervisor (and also a notorious skirt chaser), we wondered if he would ever figure out the reason for the list. We chickened out, and he moved on to another position.

  9. Ann Bartow says:

    Did you know there is such a thing as kosher toilet paper? See here and

    You might also enjoy this!

  10. Matt says:

    It’s nicer than the ones I wanted to make myself and stick up in the law school when I was a student- “Flush, you stupid Jerk!” (note that I’m quoting myself here- I’d not have the quotation marks in the sign.) I also thought that a note should be added that if the people are so scared of germs that they are afraid to flush they should seek psychiatric help. Thankfully, the ability to go have a good stiff drink kept me from actually putting up the signs.

  11. Joe2 says:

    There is only one thing worse: The “Hurri-can” newspaper that can be found in front of the men’s urinals in the undergrad liab.

    Get it? “can” … only at UM.

  12. confucious says:

    Perhaps its the toilet paper’s fault for UM’s recent USNWR ranking?

  13. michael says:

    I sure hope that’s not why Miami’s US News ranking went up by 11!

  14. Mr. Hanky says:

    It’s better than those ones that basically say: Your using a flushless waterless urinal, and helping the planet. Which makes you feel only slighly better as the pool of pure urine rises ever so higher and you hope that the bowl doesn’t overflow on your shoes.

    I prefer trees to those horrible things they installed.

  15. burt says:

    exactly, the lines structure should be;

    Please Show Courtesy
    to Others By Helping Us
    Keep Our Bathroom Clean

    perfect 5/7/5. Someone at urinal prose department has been sneaking in lessons in haiku.


  16. John Flood says:

    Toilet rolls always over, never under. If you want real excitement: have you seen the BLACK loo paper you can get now?

  17. Yeah, I’d rather read, “be a sweetie, wipe the seatie”

    New Jersey driving attorney

  18. I’d rather see,
    “Be a Sweetie, Wipe the Seatie”

    New Jersey driving attorney

  19. BroD says:

    Alan nails it: “It is definitely over, unless you own a cat.”

  20. lets keep the bathrooms clean people.

  21. Those signs annoy me but unfortunatley most people don’t know how to respect things or places even the bathroom. It should be common sense. Great post enjoyed reading you vent.

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