Has John Quarterman figured out the next best thing since the lightbulb joke? Let’s listen in:
Perilocity: Why Did the Titanic Sink?: Let’s ask some people in different lines of work:
because it hit an iceberg.
because it had the wrong captain.
because its rivets were stressed from temperature changes.
because it didn’t have radar to detect the iceberg.
because it didn’t have access to a distributed iceberg detection system.
As jokes go it’s highly extensible. Not quite as funny as the lightbulbs, but I’ll take what I can get.
So let’s add some…
Communists: Because of capitalist greed that puts profits above everything else.
Feminist: A man was driving.
George Bush (both of them): Because it didn’t stay the course.
Iceberg? Goldberg? Coincidence? I think not…
I talked to several Republicans on the ship and they found a scientist who said, “There are no such things as Icebergs, because how can Ice at and below 32 Degrees remain in water that is above 32 Degrees? “
Therefore, No Icebergs.
Therefore, The Titanic did not sink. It’s simply another distortion of history by the liberals.
Programmers (i): Because the captain shot himself in the foot.
Programmers (ii): Because it was lost at C.
(Vice) President Cheney: Because of Al Qaeda and Saddam Hussein
President Bush: what he said.
Donald Rumsfeld: Because of the Icebergs to the North, East, South and West of the Titanic.
Reaganite: Because it prefered to sink.
Fundamentalist: Because it was homosexual.
Misogynist: Because she was asking for it.
Leftie Blogger: Because it wasn’t framing the issues in a way that appeals to mainstream America.
Zinedine Zidane: I regret ze incident but it insulted my mother.
Rumsfeld: Did the Titanic sink? Why yes. Was it an awful thing? Of course. Do we wish such things not to happen? Certainly. Do we know why? Well, there are known knowns, known unkowns, and unknown unknowns in life. This is one of those.
Political theorist/chemist: Because of the dialectic materialism and polar hegemony of greedy hydrogen and oxygen radicals.
There actually was an old legend, mainly promulgated in Cahtolic primary schools by nuns, that the designer said ‘God himself could not sink this ship’. Being the vengeful type, the God of the Nuns chose to disprove this particular hypothesis.
Legal counsel for Insurance company: Because the iceberg hit it.