Cheney Jokes Roundup

The Wall Street Journal has a roundup of Cheney jokes . My favorites include,

Leno: “Something I just found out today about the incident. Do you know that Dick Cheney tortured the guy for a half hour before he shot him?”

Jon Stewart: “”Yes, as you’ve just heard, a near-tragedy over the weekend in south Texas. Vice President Dick Cheney accidentally shot a man during a quail hunt at a political supporter’s ranch. Making 78-year-old Harry Whittington the first person shot by a sitting VP since Alexander Hamilton.

“Hamilton, of course, shot in a duel with Aaron Burr over issues of honor, integrity and political maneuvering. Whittington? Mistaken for a bird.”

Bonus Cheney visual hunting aid:

from Needlenose.

And Boing Boing has a nice graphic showing 10 ways Dick Cheney can kill you.

You know it’s bad when even Jeb Bush is making Cheney jokes.

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5 Responses to Cheney Jokes Roundup

  1. Pingback: Unpartisan.com Political News and Blog Aggregator

  2. Jeb ? That’s nothing. McClellan is telling Dick Cheney jokes.
    http://www.washingtonpost.com/wp-dyn/content/article/2006/02/14/AR2006021400869.html
    I wonder, did Jefferson’s press secretary tell Burr jokes or is this the dawn of a new age of vice presidential humiliation ?

  3. elliottg says:

    Lying to an investigator is a crime. No F***ing way Whittington was 30 yards away and took 200 pellets. Now it might be possible to take that at 30 feet, but absolutely not at 30 yards. The “official” report posted at the smoking gun states 30 yards. No F***ing way. Look at this website or just do a google search on “spread pattern” shotgun or similar terms.

    http://www.firearmsid.com/A_distshotpatt.htm

  4. elliottg says:

    I saw that demo and thought it was great that your brother linked to it. The video is hard to see, but you can see that the entire area of the target has shot in it. There may be 200 pellets in the target, as Mr. Gongora claims, but there is not 200 pellets in the target area confined to the one side of the neck, the face below the eyes, and only one side of the body. Or, look at it this way. He was probably using a shot size that put about 250 – 350 pellets in the entire load. 1 oz of 7 1/2 shot has 350 pellet magnum (unlikely). 3/4 has 262 pellets. Look at that pattern again and define an area as described which represents at a minimum 60% (200/350) of the pattern George shows (1 oz load) or 75% (3/4 oz load – 200/262) and conforms to the description of injuries in the press. Also, keep in mind that Mr. Gongora is using a target load most likely which is #8 or #9 shot with higher pellet counts so trying to count holes is less useful than trying to count area. Even if Mr. Cheney was using #8 or #9 shot then you still have to define an area of Mr. Whittington’s body conforming to slightly over 50% of the pattern to get 200 pellets in him at 30 yards.

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