Fafblog Explains Why You Have to Read About Torture

Fafblog—evidence for the hypothesis that the nation's mental ecosystem has powerful waffle-based antibodies against evil:

“But Fafnir I do not want to read about torture” you say because you are a lazy whining person. “I want to read about gumdrops an rainbows and Presidents who are made of gumdrops an rainbows an use them to blow up the terrorists.”

No you should really read it it is a very important issue now go or I will have Giblets hit you with the waffle again.

“Blah blah blah torture, blah blah blah human rights. I like watchin things blow up on television, it gives me a feelin of comfy security, readin about human rights violations makes me feel bad.”

That does it, Im tellin Giblets to go get the waffle! He's gettin the waffle now!

“Okay Fafnir I will do whatever you say just so long as Giblets an the waffle are not involved!”

It's so easy to kind of sweep it all under your brain an think “Well theres nothin more to be said an nothin more to think about it” cause let's face it nobody wants to think about their government participating in horror. An right now the level of torture talk has gone from “Torture: Bad!” to “Torture: Bad, But Not As Bad As Saddam Hussein” to “Torture: Bad, But What About Ticking Bombs?” to “Torture: Bad, But Not Necessarily Proof That The People Who Ordered Torture Are Bad” to “Torture: We Still Talkin Bout Torture?” to “Torture: Bad?” An before we get to “Torture: Sorta Like Mowin Your Lawn” I think we should try as hard as we can to wake up.

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2 Responses to Fafblog Explains Why You Have to Read About Torture

  1. Luke says:

    Check out Fafblog’s interview with Ralph Nader for more hilarity:

  2. Copeland says:

    Torture is like one of those “Taxicabs Of Absolute Reality” in Allen Ginzberg’s HOWL.

    Torture is a drug, the most badass drug you can take.
    “This is your country. This is your country on torture. Any questions?”

    “Just say no to torture.”… “I’m shocked, shocked to find out there’s torture going on in here.”
    No, you can’t blame this all on hillbillies. It goes a little bit further up the Chain Of Command, past Generals Miller and Sanchez. It’s in the CIA Playbook. John Ashcroft, Donald Rumsfeld, Douglas Feith, the usual suspects; look for their fingerprints.

    I’m sorry, Professor Froomkin, I’m in a mood. “Folding the flag is like putting the Nation to bed…..I’m falling through a hole in the the flag….I’m falling…..falling…”

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