Category Archives: Florida

Take the Broweird News Quiz

Posted on December 31, 2007 by Michael Froomkin

Miami is weird and wonderful. But Miami people say that Broward, the next county north, is just weird. That's not completely fair, but you'd be forgiven for thinking it after you take the Miami Herald's fun Broweird news quiz.

Sample question (I had to think about this one):

16. Which of the following in Fort Lauderdale terrorized two teenagers and sent a dog to the animal hospital for treatment?

A. Africanized honey bees.

B. Deerfield Beach firefighter and reality TV show star Dani Campbell.

C. Alligators.

D. Airport bus drivers.

Could have been any of them, really.

Posted in Florida | Comments Off on Take the Broweird News Quiz

Join the ‘None of the Above’ Campaign

Posted on December 12, 2007 by Michael Froomkin

No, I'm not talking about the GOP primary. I'm talking about the contest for a new Florida state song.

none2.jpgI admit that this morning I was a little worried about my post attacking all three songs as bad. (The Song Will Not Remain The Same) In fact, I toned it down quite a bit from the first draft, saying to myself that it just came out sounding too curmudgeonly.

Well, I'm feeling bolder now that I've read Flablog, Bad music:

Folks, I hate to find myself in the Simon Cowell role in this talent show, but these are aggressively awful songs.

I don’t mean just awful in a passive, boring, public-assembly way. I mean chair-creaking, clock-checking, eyes-scanning-the-exits, mind-numbingly, risibly awful. One sounds like an infomercial for a television ministry, one sounds like a 19th century Congregationalist hymn, and one sounds like something that should have been recorded on an Edison wax cylinder.

And these were chosen by people who are influencing innocent children.

I tremble for our future.

Maybe what we need is a “none of the above movement”? Is there some way to get a re-do, or to hear the other contenders, or hire a decent rock band, or commission the Dean of the UM School of Music, or something.

Please, someone, tell me help is on the way.

Posted in Florida | Comments Off on Join the ‘None of the Above’ Campaign

The Song Will Not Remain The Same

Posted on December 12, 2007 by Michael Froomkin

The state of Florida is looking for a new state song.

The current (written in 1851 by Stephen Foster, officially adopted by Florida in 1935) state song's official name is “Old Folks at Home,” (lugubrious mp3) but most people know it either for its first line “Way down upon the Swanee River…'' or for its racist lines including “Still longing for the old plantation” and “Oh darkies, how my heart grows weary.”

They had competition for a replacement, and now they are down to three finalists which can be heard at justsingflorida.org. And apparently the public is invited to vote online for the winner. Ballot stuffing anyone?

Here are direct links to the syrupy contenders:

'Florida (Where the Sawgrass Meets the Sky)' | Music and lyrics by Jan Hinton

'My Florida Home' | Music and lyrics by Christopher Marshall

'Florida, My Home' | Music by Carl Ashley, lyrics by Betsy Dixon

I think the first one is awful, the second one dull, and while the third may be the least bad, I don't much care for it, and it would be hard to sing. I hope I never have to hear any of them again, but I suppose they'll start popping up at graduation.

Do any states have good anthems?

Posted in Florida | 4 Comments

Florida Fund Crisis: The Jeb Bush Connection

Posted on December 2, 2007 by Michael Froomkin

A money scandal with a Bush connection — who would have thought it? Forbes did. Where Was Jeb?:

A government money market debacle unfolding in Florida is raising questions about former governor and presidential brother Jeb Bush's possible involvement in the mess.

Florida froze withdrawals from a state investment fund earlier this week when local governments withdrew billions of dollars out of concern for the fund's financial stability.

In the past few days, municipalities have withdrawn roughly $9 billion, nearly a third of the $28 billion fund (which is similar to a money market fund) controlled by the Florida's State Board of Administration (SBA). The run on the fund was triggered by worries that a percentage of the portfolio contained debt that had defaulted.

A majority of this paper was sold to SBA by Lehman Brothers. Bush, as the state's top elected official, served on a three-member board that oversaw the SBA until he retired as governor in January. In August, Bush was hired as a consultant to the bank. Lehman spokesperson Kerrie Cohen, speaking on behalf of Bush, said they had no comment and would not say when the bank had sold Florida the paper. SBA did not return calls.

Let's not jump to conclusions just because it looks bad. But it doesn't look good.

Update: Does this sound like the time Jeb's state pension fund held on to Enron despite warnings to sell?

Posted in Econ & Money: Mortgage Mess, Florida | Comments Off on Florida Fund Crisis: The Jeb Bush Connection

Washington Post Introduces Us to “Swamp Divers”

Posted on August 26, 2007 by Michael Froomkin

Yes, it seems that there are Floridians nuts enough to go swimming with alligators. So the Washington Post profiles this group, which it calls

a very small, very savvy, very crazy band of swamp divers — people who purposefully jump into dark and dangerous ponds, pools, canals and creeks in the Everglades and its surrounding wild waters. They do it for science, to make movies, to observe or capture uncommon scenes in an element of the Everglades few humans ever see.

And, yes, for scary fun. Entering the hidden haunts of the lizard king of the Everglades, a creature capable of snapping human bones like tortilla chips, is an electric jolt.

“It's very, very exciting,” said Fernandez, a South Miami man whose murky immersions have rekindled passion for a photography profession he abandoned years ago. “There are times when you're in there and the alligators bump into you. Sometimes, they take off in a very small area, and it's like a chain reaction, they all start flying by and hitting you.”

Swamp diving is eerie, fascinating, frightening — and an experience that almost no one should ever, ever try. Don't even think about it.

OK. If you say so.

Posted in Florida | 2 Comments

Judicial Fireworks in Broward

Posted on July 19, 2007 by Michael Froomkin

It's an old Miami saying that we live in the only part of the country where you have to go north to get to the South.

Evidence of the truth of that aphorism can be found in the judicial dust-up currently unfolding in Broward County, the county just north of us. Broward county judges have had a bad patch recently, what with one being busted for smoking pot in a park, and various ethical transgressions emerging, one of which led to the resignation of the Chief Judge.

We though things might be looking up this week when the election for a new Chief Judge appeared to have gone off without either allegations of vote tampering or mayhem, but in fact this was just the calm before the storm.

And what a storm. It seems that during the brief interregnum, Acting Chief Judge Mel Grossman eviscerated a diversity committee chaired by Judge Elijah Williams, the only black male judge to be appointed in Broward in the last two decades. And Judge Williams, to his credit, isn't taking it lightly.

The full fireworks can be seen at the rather active unofficial Broward lawyers' blog at A Calculated Scorched Earth Policy or a Simple Case of Al Haig Disease? Judge Elijah Williams Has Had Enough!. See also Miami-Dade's own Rumpole, enjoying a few moments of schadenfreude.

Posted in Florida, Law: Everything Else | Comments Off on Judicial Fireworks in Broward