Category Archives: Completely Different

Wacky (academic) fun at Thoughts Arguments and Rants: Silly Talk about Philosophy (spotted via Leiter) in which real live (academic) philosophers respond to this invitation:

what about a thread on the silliest things people have said to you about philosophy, or silliest philosophical claims you’ve heard made?

I can't help it — I'm a sucker for _______ in the style of the Famous (and not-so-famous) Authors. So here, from a contest in the Guardian, is the Alternative Potter project: eighty-plus versions of the Death of Albus Dumbledore.

(This isn't a spoiler, by the way. The Guardian started this contest before the book was released, and they picked Dumbledore as the victim arbitrarily. They didn't know who gets killed in the current book — and I'm not telling.)

The entries are something of a mixed bag, but here's William Carlos Williams:

This Is Just To Say

I have killed
the wizard
who was in
your novels

and whose death
you were probably
saving
for book seven

Forgive me
he had it coming
so beardy
and so old

(Thanks to Jim MacDonald, co-blogging at the ever-rewarding Making Light, for finding this; his readers have contributed more.)

Teresa Neilsen Hayden and her readers have supplied what I believe to be the world's largest collection of spam composed in the style of the Famous Poets and classic poetic forms. Here’s a villanelle for your reading pleasure, composed by Dave Luckett:

To god I swear, it's all quite real:
My son's in stir. I've large amounts
What he has stolen. You can steal
As well as us, so here's the deal:
Just specify your bank accounts.
To god I swear, it's all quite real –
The late Abacha had a feel
For dosh. The oil in flowing founts
What he has stolen! You can steal,
As he did. Slippery as eel,
Was he; now renders his accounts
To god. I swear, it's all quite real –
It's thirty million, under seal,
But if I move, I must renounce
What he has stolen! You can steal
It. Hear, oh hear, my sad appeal:
Just email me your bank accounts.
To god I swear, it's all quite real:
What he has stolen, you can steal.

And then there's this entry by Josh Jasper:

this is the song
of miriam abacha
the spammer

miriam is a widower
of some vizeer or wazoo
in darkest africa
and she claims
that her son
had absconded with
thirty large
after her old man
got sent to sing sing

that was a long time ago
and one must not be
surprised if miriam
has forgotten some of her
more regal manners

archy

I told an old joke at dinner.

The story goes that shortly after the end of World War II, an American soldier and a Russian soldier were patrolling the demarcation line between two sectors in Berlin. Every day they would walk up and down, up and down separated by a line. Eventually the two got to talking. One day the Russian said the American, “I don't understand what is this 'freedom' business you Americans are always going on about. What use is 'freedom'?”

“I can explain,” replied the American soldier. “When I'm demobilized and go home, I can walk up to the gate of the White House and shout 'Truman is an IDIOT' — and no one will do anything to me. That's freedom.”

“Well,” the Russian replied, “if that is all there is to freedom, then we have freedom in the USSR too. When I go home, I can go up to the gates of the Kremlin and shout 'Truman is an idiot' and no one will do anything to me either”

“Is that still true?” a voice asked. Images flashed by: today's White House. Surrounded by barriers to keep the public at a distance. Anxious guards who hustle the President away any time a small plane takes a wrong turn. An administration that will do anything to insulate itself from criticism.

“Of course it's still true,” I reassured the children. “I can go right up to the White House today and shout 'Truman is an idiot' and no one will do anything to me, either.”

(Title inspired by Chicago VIII )

Just what the doctor ordered for weak wifi signals! WiFi Speed Spray (“Numbers don't lie!”). I can use it to make a thorough study of the Wikerpedia, the new online competitor to the Wikipedia.

The toxicity stuff is a bit of a worry, though.

Clientcopia : Coping with stupid clients is funny in a tragic sort of way.

Law is a service business. So to all the law students reading this blog, I say, Take Notes! Because you too will someday have a Client from Hell.