Category Archives: Completely Different

Admit It

There’s someone you want to send this cartoon to.

(Image not included here because I suspect the copyright holders would not approve.)

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Best Halloween Costume Ever?

More here.

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It’s a Plot

Author Charlie Stross has some legitimate complaints that he addresses to studio executives.

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Finis?Les Guignols de l’info are being destroyed (or if you prefer, decapitated) by the new owner of Canal+ the French cable network. According to Le Parisien, “Canal + : «Les Guignols» décapités, les auteurs historiques virés” the network fired the four long-standing members of the writing team. After many years of being broadcast in the the clear, whatever is left of the show will now appear behind a subscribers-only crypto wall for TV watchers; Canal+ has also stopped adding to the portal for internet users.

Supposedly there will be clips on Daily Motion somewhere, but I didn’t find much recent stuff when I looked just now.

This will degrade my ongoing knowledge of French politics by at least 50%, and — even more serious — remove a decent chunk of my video comedy diet. Plus it was my main source of new French slang.


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Happy Labor Day

Celebrate by reading Not Always Right, a web compilation of mostly horrifying stories from the world of retail, featuring nasty and thoughtless customers, hapless would-be scammers (apparently people say “my dad is the owner” to the owner or his/her family all the time), and the terminally clueless. It may challenge your faith in humanity. Or make you tip more. Or both.

Two sample tales:

Me: “Hi—”

Customer: *cuts in* “Hey, I see a couple outside eating this thing. I don’t know what’s the name of it.”

Me: “Um… could you please describe it to me?”

Customer: “I don’t know how to describe it, it’s a… it’s a big thing.”

Me: “…”

Customer: “I want it!”

Me: “…”


I am a customer waiting in line. There is only one register open, and the woman before me with her five grown children only has five items. The cashier gives the woman her total.)

Customer: “That’s not right. You didn’t add the coupons.”

Cashier: “I did, ma’am. They were on [item #1] and [item #2]. The coupons do not apply to already discounted items.”

Customer: “But it should be less. You’re cheating me out of $1.20!”

Cashier: “Ma’am, your coupons did apply. You had two of them and they went to the two items not on sale. The other three items were on sale.”

Customer: “This isn’t fair! You see me with these kids?” *she gestures to her five grown children wandering around the aisle* “I have to feed them tonight! I need that money! You are cheating me!”

Cashier: “Ma’am, I can go over the receipt with you to show you exactly how the register calculated your total. Or I can return the items if you need the money.”

Customer: “No! I know I am right!”

(This goes on for 15 minutes, with the line behind me building. A manager is called up to explain that there was no error, but the customer keeps insisting. The manager tries to get the cashier onto another register to help the line, but the customer is refusing to let anyone leave their spot.)

Customer: “You’re cheating me out of my money! I should call your head office. You are cheating a poor mother so she can’t feed her kids. You should be ashamed of yourself.”

Me: *fed up* “Ma’am, if it’s that big of a deal, I’ll give you $1.20 to cover your purchase. In fact, we can start up a collection. Everyone! This poor woman is unable to pay for some of her order, and she needs every penny that she can to feed her kids. Let’s ignore the fact that all of them are holding iPhone 5s and the three young ladies have Coach and Gucci bags that are probably worth more than what any of us make in a month. This woman can’t afford to feed them, and is spending her money on general crafting supplies. Who would like to help me pay for the $1.20 that she can’t cover on her purchase?”

(The customer starts fuming and stomps off without her items; her wide eyed kids walking behind her in shock. I was called up to the register a moment later.)

Cashier: “Thank you…”

Me: “No need. I have dealt with b****es like that for years. I’ve always wanted to do that and not worry about getting fired!”

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The Road to Hell?

The Road to Hell?

The basic elements of Protestant Theology appear to have eluded me. Comes now Rev. Pat Robertson to explain that “allowing boys to think it’s okay to play with pink Lego while girls think it’s okay to play with non-pink Lego is a one-way ticket to Hell.”

Who knew?

(This is a parody, of Robertson, right?)

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This Joke Is Older Than You Think

Jon Schwartz writes, Russian Oligarch Boris Berezovsky Wanted to Turn My Joke Into Reality. The joke is

One of my core political beliefs is that there would still be a Soviet Union if they’d been smart enough to have two communist parties that agreed on everything except abortion.

Obviously that’s a joke about the U.S., where we have two capitalist parties that largely agree on everything. The exceptions are issues that matter a lot to the regular people who make up the two parties’ bases, but are largely irrelevant to party elites who fund and run both of them.

I first heard a version of this in the early seventies, when someone told me what was already an old saw about Kwame Nkrumah being interviewed by an American reporter for the AP shortly after taking Ghana to a one-part state in 1964.

“Don’t you believe in democracy, sir?” the reporter asked.

“Oh you Americans,” Nkrumah supposedly replied, “You already have a one-party state, but with typical American excess you have two of them.”

Update: It seems I’ve blogged this joke before. More American excess?

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