Discourse.net

No, I’m not talking about the GOP primary. I’m talking about the contest for a new Florida state song.

I admit that this morning I was a little worried about my post attacking all three songs as bad. (The Song Will Not Remain The Same) In fact, I toned it down quite a bit from the first draft, saying to myself that it just came out sounding too curmudgeonly.

Well, I’m feeling bolder now that I’ve read Flablog, Bad music:

Folks, I hate to find myself in the Simon Cowell role in this talent show, but these are aggressively awful songs.

I don’t mean just awful in a passive, boring, public-assembly way. I mean chair-creaking, clock-checking, eyes-scanning-the-exits, mind-numbingly, risibly awful. One sounds like an infomercial for a television ministry, one sounds like a 19th century Congregationalist hymn, and one sounds like something that should have been recorded on an Edison wax cylinder.

And these were chosen by people who are influencing innocent children.

I tremble for our future.

Maybe what we need is a “none of the above movement”? Is there some way to get a re-do, or to hear the other contenders, or hire a decent rock band, or commission the Dean of the UM School of Music, or something.

Please, someone, tell me help is on the way.