Monthly Archives: May 2011

Joys of Natural Gas

Posted on May 17, 2011 by Michael Froomkin

A big truck pulled up in front of the house about an hour ago, and a man rang the door bell to tell me that they werCreative commons photo via http://www.flickr.com/photos/cliff_robin/e here to fix the gas leak.

Gas leak? Gas leak??? This was news to me. It seems that Florida City Gas hires some firm to go around and inspect gas meters for leaks, and they found one at our house. No, judging from the yellow cable ties on our pipes, they found two. I can’t hear or smell anything, so it can’t be that serious, but still.

And no one told us. The workmen said they should have rung the bell, and if no one was home they should have left a note. There was no note. They should have told me, but not to worry, it is — they are — very small.

The work team was quick. In half an hour or less they were done. And then the fun began. The work crew can turn off gas supplies, which they needed to do in order to effect their repair. But they are not able or empowered to turn the gas back on. That, says the blue card, requires a call to an 800 number. Fortunately, since my office is undergoing a treatment that the Vice Dean described in a recent memo as akin to “elephants wielding gigantic tree trunks” ranging through the floor, I am at home today, and able to call now rather than at dinner time, when one might just want to cook something.

So I call the 800 number. The automated voice system wants me to punch many numbers, and I do, navigating to the third level in the menu. Then a robo voice tells me I’ll have to be on hold for a bit as they have a lot of calls. I get a moment of muzak, then a click, then silence. More clicks. Silence. Then the dreaded Bell System voice says, “If you’d like to make a call, please hang up…” Yes, I’ve been disconnected.

So I repeat the whole process and get … a human being! He makes me repeat all the info that the automated system already knew. Then he tells me he’ll have to put me on hold to transfer me to another department. Before he does, I explain I’ve been cut off once already — but it seems they know about the problem, they’ve been having lots of trouble with the system, and he promises to call me back if I’m cut off. I also mention that I’m a little perturbed by no one telling me about the leak. He is solicitous, but all he can say is that he’ll make a note of it.

In due course I’m transferred to Jeanne, who has a slow southern voice and very brisk efficiency. Once again I have to explain where the house is (they send me gas, don’t they know where I am?). She wants to know the name of my subdivision too, the first time anyone has asked me this in more than 18 years. Riviera?

As regards my concern that no one told me about the leak, Jeanne is utterly unimpressed. “I think the most important thing is that they told us, so we could come out and fix it.” I agree, but ask if she doesn’t think that maybe I, the resident, should be told too? “No,” says Jeanne. And that is that.

They promise to have the gas back on well before dinner time.

(Creative Commons photo – c.a.muller.)

Posted in Coral Gables | 4 Comments

They Should Teach Filing in Law School

Posted on May 16, 2011 by Michael Froomkin

Usually my work is fun, as it involves thinking about interesting problems. This is one the great joys of being a law professor. But much of my work has not been fun this past ten days or so. The law school is doing renovations on my floor over the summer, and in service of this project all my file cabinets were due to be removed last Friday. (See The Paperless Office (Like it Or Not).) I spent most of last week doing triage and tagging with the help of one very game research assistant. In the end I threw away about half of it, filling several recycle bins. It was a very nostalgic process, especially regarding my earliest cryptography, e-cash, and internet work: I had a chance to interact with some amazing people, far too many of whom I have lost track of since. But back to the files. I marked about 40% of the bulk for temporary storage. I took the rest — twelve banker’s boxes — home and am now trying to figure out where to put them. That takes some tidying and reorganization too.

There is, however, one aspect of this problem that does require at least a little thought: I’ve also been trying to create a schema for a paperless filing system since the tentative plan is that the file cabinets are not coming back. As one does I spent some time on Google looking for advice. Most of it was unhelpful, as it involved spending large sums of money on various proprietary document management tools. But I did find a few pieces of what looked like useful advice, especially Exadox’s Folder and File Naming Convention – 10 Rules for Best Practice. They wanted me to buy something too, but never mind that.

So here are the rules I’ve distilled for my use:

  • Every document MUST have a descriptive name.
  • Use short and simple folder names and folder structures and focus on using long and information-rich filenames.
  • Use the underscore (_) as element delimiter. Use the hyphen (-) to delimit words within an element – NOT spaces. E.g. Smith-John_recommendation-letter.pdf
  • Elements should be ordered from general to specific detail of importance as much as possible. The order of importance rule holds true when elements include date and time stamps. Dates should be ordered: YEAR, MONTH, DAY. (e.g. YYMMDD)
  • Personal names within an element should have family name first followed by first names or initials.
  • Documents with multiple versions (or likely to have multiple versions) should have as their FINAL element _V followed by at least 2 digits. To distinguish between working drafts (i.e. minor revisions) use Vx-01->Vx-99 range and for final draft (i.e. major version release) use V1-00-> V9-xx. (where x =0-9). If you go to more major versions, use the alphabet, ie VA-01, VB-01 etc.
  • Aim for a flat file structure–avoid the temptation to create layers and layers of sub-folders as things that are not visible will get lost

I’ve also defined an initial file structure based on asking my secretary for her ideas, and then adding my own ideas based on some time looking through the things found in the drive space she and I share. (I also have my own private space that could really stand to be organized better, but one thing at a time.) The top level of this structure divides the world into Admin, Courses, Research, and Projects. The admin folder has ten sub-folders, only a few of which have sub-folders of their own. None of the other three major sections currently has sub-sub-folders. So it is a very flat structure.

There is one good aspect of all this, however. I think that grading is going to seem joyous by comparison.

Posted in Law School | 2 Comments

Statutory Interpretation for Biologists

Posted on May 11, 2011 by Michael Froomkin

Tongue no doubt firmly in cheek, a biologist suggests that the Florida legislature accidentally legislated celibacy this week.

Among (many) other things, the statute in question says that

A person may not:
…
Knowingly engage in any sexual conduct or sexual contact with an animal;

(In its infinite wisdom, the Florida Legislature had never before the current moment gotten around to legislating on this important subject.)

People are animals, hence sex with humans must be banned, right?

Any blog post that makes fun of this year’s unusually dire Florida Legislature is OK with me, but I have to put in a few words for the law here, even at the price of spoiling the joke.

Yes, it’s time to roll out Nix v. Heddon, 149 U.S. 304 (1893), in which the Supreme Court of the United States had to decide whether at tomato is a fruit or a vegetable for purposes of the Tariff Act of March 3, 1883. There were good arguments for ‘fruit’: after all, to a biologist, a tomato is clearly a fruit. But the Supreme Court made short work of that claim:

Botanically speaking, tomatoes are the fruit of a vine, just as are cucumbers, squashes, beans, and peas. But in the common language of the people, whether sellers or consumers of provisions, all these are vegetables which are grown in kitchen gardens, and which, whether eaten cooked or raw, are, like potatoes, carrots, parsnips, turnips, beets, cauliflower, cabbage, celery, and lettuce, usually served at dinner in, with, or after the soup, fish, or meats which constitute the principal part of the repast, and not, like fruits generally, as dessert.

In short, in figuring out legislative intent in the absence of a definition in the statute itself, courts look to the ordinary, common, meaning of words and not their scientific meaning unless something in the context suggests otherwise. In SB 344, it’s pretty clear that when the Florida legislature — yes, even this year’s model — says “animals” it is not referring to us nor even to itself.

Posted in Florida, Law: Everything Else, Law: The Supremes | 6 Comments

Does This Mean What I Think It Means?

Posted on May 10, 2011 by Michael Froomkin

I’m looking at the detailed terms and conditions for the three-year “notebook protection with ADH” plan offered by CDW on a laptop which in fact has a manufacturers’ three-year warranty for defects in workmanship.

The attraction of the extra warranty is that it purports to offer some protection from accidents.

Coverage begins on the date of product purchase and is inclusive of the manufacturer’s warranty, Coverage includes Accidental Damage from Handling, 100% of shipping cost reimbursement for depot service if required, Coverage provided by Service Net.

Since this is a gift for an accident-prone person, that sounds attractive.

But, hey, I’m a lawyer, right, so I’m going to read the detailed terms and conditions. And in there I find this amazing paragraph:

3. ACCIDENTAL DAMAGE FROM HANDLING (ADH): ADH pertains to You if listed on the reverse side of this Contract. Your Product is protected against accidental damage from handling. ADH will end prior to the expiration date when We have, as a result of service provided to You, replaced Your Product or incurred costs under this plan and all other coverage equal to the original purchase price of Your Product (as indicated on your invoice). ADH only covers operational or mechanical failure caused by an accident from handling and does not include protection against normal wear and tear, theft, misplacement, negligence, viruses, reckless, abusive, willful or intentional conduct associated with handling and use of the Product, cosmetic damage and/or other damage that does not affect the unit functionality, damage caused during shipment between You and Our service providers and any other limitations listed in the Limitations of Coverage section. Any resultant damage from this type of treatment is NOT covered by this ADH program. The use of this coverage requires an explanation of where and when the accident occurred as well as a detailed description of the actual event. Failure to provide this information will result in claim denial.

I’ve read this three times now, and I’m having some trouble figuring out what sort of accident this covers. What would be an “operational or mechanical failure caused by an accident from handling” that is other than the excluded “normal wear and tear, theft, misplacement, negligence, viruses, reckless, abusive, willful or intentional conduct”? The exclusions seem to cover both negligence and willfulness. What’s left?

Whatever it is, they seem to think people will pay $152 for it.

Posted in Law: Everything Else, Shopping | 8 Comments

Borg Sighted

Posted on May 10, 2011 by Michael Froomkin

Yes, Microsoft is buying Skype

My reaction:

httpv://www.youtube.com/watch?v=Z0GFRcFm-aY

I am not downloading Microsoft Passport to make Skype calls. Just Not Going To Do It. (No, I don’t know that they plan to make me, but you get the idea.)

Posted in Internet | 1 Comment

CDT Publishes My “Lessons Learned Too Well” Talk

Posted on May 9, 2011 by Michael Froomkin

CDT has published my Lessons Learned Too Well: The Evolution of Internet Regulation talk as one of its “CDT Fellows Focus” postings.

Posted in Talks & Conferences | Comments Off on CDT Publishes My “Lessons Learned Too Well” Talk